WTF

Ever get the chance to finally go out and spend some adult time and wake up 8 hours later not remembering a damn thing? `Yea, neither have I. Ok, we both know that's a complete lie or I wouldn't be writing this at 3:23 a.m.

We finally got a chance to sit down and enjoy a couple of beers at a local bar, from how my day went after this to me it was earlier today but in reality it was yesterday, and enjoyed having a little adult conversation. You know those conversations where it's not about how old your kids are or what sport they're playing but more about your dreams, goals, likes/dislikes and just altogether adult topics we tend to restrict ourselves from having around the very alert, very repetitive little ones. The ones who will blow you in about your conversation the next time you try to lie or evade a topic or conversation and they chime in with "Oh but mommy you said". I had a few beers with my husband and carried on conversations with other patrons because I have no filter and jump into everyone's conversation. I remember having my beers and a shot at the bar and hitting up the ladies room once before having a conversation with some people. My husband on the other hand has a longer version of my night, something more along the lines of wife from hell. I am not an angry drunk by no means and puking usually sobers me up BUT today was not an ordinary day.

I last remember looking at my cell and seeing that it was close to 3:30 p.m. and I wake up in the darkness of my room at 2 a.m. wondering what the hell happened. Luckily for me my husband took great care of me even if I was behaving like the wicked witch of Buffalo but unfortunately I don't remember being a total C-word. I apparently threw up and barely made it out of the bar alive. The onion rings I was so excited for while being sober ended up on the floor of our vehicle. I was told I spilled them, but let's be honest if it didn't end up on facebook nor someone got a picture then it never happened, and the boom boom sauce I drool over. They're gone along with my memory of the day. I flipped out on poor hubby, who graciously didn't leave me on the front step like a bad puppy, and he cleaned the kitchen anyway. Maybe I should drink more often and he might hit up the laundry room next. I guess I found refuge in our bed, hiding under our covers like a pissed off toddler, and eventually fell asleep after my raging bitch settled down. Who knew my party goblin, thanks Iliza, was going to be in full period mode when she was released from her cage with apparently the tequila shot I had. Now we know what the combination is to steer clear of if we don't want a repeat of tonight, yesterday, earlier, whatever day it is.

Waking up in the darkness of early morning, stark naked and confused as to how in the hell I missed an entire day. 8 missed messages from my best friend and a few from people we were supposed to meet with along with the memories of how I got there. Thankfully, after many rounds of apologizing for being the worse drunk in the world, I'm here now still trying to recant the events of my day but I'll just be happy knowing my husband, even though he couldn't have known how bad I was, still took care of me instead of freaking out. No wine tonight, and maybe for a few nights.